From Happiness to Hell!

I went camping with my sister and her two sons for Canada Day long weekend. We left Thursday evening and came home Sunday evening.

It was really wonderful. I haven't spent time alone with my sister since we were little children playing. It really was great to get to know her again. I see her in brief encounters at her place when she is getting ready to go out with her friends or have her friends over or making dinner or sunbathing or when I stop over for a quick minute to say hi or play with the kids for a bit.

Here we were, stuck with each other and being forced to pay attention and notice each other.

She is a really beautiful, caring, nurturing woman who loves her children and loves to take care of the people she loves and to serve and cook and camp and be-friend the neighbor campers and and and... It felt wonderful being on the reciprocating end of her love. (Having lived alone for the last 2 1/2 years now I quite enjoyed having someone think of me and make me breakfast). After the kids had decided that they were tired and needed to go to sleep, my sister and I would stay up by campfire light listening to the country music station, laughing and singing and talking for hours while having a couple of drinks. It was great! I really enjoyed having her undivided attention, giving her mine and learning more about her.

I have been moving and going through transition in my life so it was really great to release the city stress and have it absorbed by the big green oxygen giving trees. I loved walking with the three of them and the neighbors son to the river and swimming in the glacier fed river and roasting marshmallows and making homemade hamburgers; all the while listening to the river and the rustling tree leaves rather than white noise.

I was able to focus and read and learn how to fill my space with love so as to not be so affected by outside circumstances, but to let others just be and for myself to not be lost in the midst of other people. I still need to practice that one, but with time it will get easier. (I hope)

That being said... I am back in reality and somewhat homeless, so as a result I am stuck living with someone who can act a little crazy and controlling at times. This person tends to disturb me and argue with me over every little situation so that this person is busy and occupied. I need space but there doesn't seem to be a sense of boundaries or space. So welcome to a mini hell on earth is what I feel the sign above the door says. No patience or understanding here. It's my way or the highway and if you don't like my rules (control) then you can leave! I don't care where!

From happiness to hell!