You know how the world is so material. Well, I grew up poor and with a great desire to be wealthy so that I could have all the desires of my heart. And now at 35 I realize that I have had it all backwards. Yes, it is great having money and being able to do all the things one desires, but I spent years, I mean years accumulating things so that I could be surrounded with stuff that I loved so that I didn't feel poor. And if fact, working away all those years I lost my art. I lost my desire for life, Not that I wished death upon myself, but that I wanted to curl up in a ball and lose myself in television and mindless activities when I wasn't working. Now, I am awake, as though my spirit has been reawaken from a slumber deep as that of sleeping beauty. I feel drawn once again to the simplicity of life so that I am not burdened with things. So that I may travel and write and live in nature and go on road trips and live bondage free.
I think if I owned my own home I would easily have more peace and feel less bound, but to have to lug everything I own around with me on every endeavor that I have. It begins to feel like a ball and chain tied to my waste and I can hardly leave my dark and cold basement suite to enjoy the sunshine because I am stuck in a comfort zone of laziness. I am considering to put all of my 'things' in storage so that I may be free to travel around lite without any baggage without the weight of the world on my shoulders. I will be able to go anywhere to promote my book and not worry if I have lost anything along the way. I will find random places to sit and write and I will meet wonderful characters for my books. This sounds like a free way to live. I feel good about it the way have felt before about other journeys and trips that I have taken... We shall see if I truly follow through with this one!
So, I have once again found my art. I am alive and excited to, as Jaysen said, keep on writing. It doesn't matter if it is in my blog or facebook or a letter to a friend or my mother or my journal, I must just keep on writing!
I am blown away by the fact that my book will be for sale this Oct. 'My Friend Jacob'. It is a wonder why I never did this before. The feeling of success is full inside of me. I feel alive again.
Thank you for sharing this with me :)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Journey...
I am learning so much! Creating this book was a means to cope with the death of my grandmother, but it has become bigger than anything I had ever imagined. This book will help so many people in so many different ways. I have people from all walks of life waiting for it to be published. Teachers, mothers, fathers, daughter, doctors, nurses, neighbors, paramedics, friends, family, councilors, writers, readers, runners.... the list goes on and on.
The truth is, I have wanted to publish these books for so many years and yet, knowing what I know now, the timing just wasn't right.
Thanks to a Jack Canfield's book 'The Success Principles' the ball really got going, but it has been a two and a half year journey from the day I met Karen Higginson in LLI. That day changed my life. That was my first day of the process of waking up from the slumber I was in. I wanted more and she was the first person put into my life to set me on the right path. There are others that don't have any idea that they were inspirational, like Quinton Carlin, Shannon Lavinia, Tony Rush and Rachael Oliver... They were the people that pushed me everyday even through the disbelief that sat in my heart. Later there were others one in particular who is still in my life, Lacey Elliot. What a wonderful woman! There are still others, close friends who were wonderful as well, but on the large scale it was the people who were out of touch and larger than life that pushed me and inspired me in ways that those close to me didn't know how.
So after all the big Guru's and their guidance that I couldn't seem to put to work, I finally realized that you can't be successful and happy if you don't like what you are doing. So what did I love to do? Write... that simple, but the other rule was that you HAVE to give back or it won't work! and not just a little, but with your whole heart until it becomes the focus!
I found my calling. I always wanted to help people and I have the biggest love for children, but I always figured that in order for me to help others I had to first be successful. I was wrong! I am successful, everyday I succeed at something. Now what am I going to do to help others!!!
What I learned from all of those amazing people was that first you must hold gratitude for everything in your life and secondly
In order to HAVE the things you want to have and to DO the things you desire to do, you first have to Be the person you want to be!
And so it is that Jacob finally came to life!
The truth is, I have wanted to publish these books for so many years and yet, knowing what I know now, the timing just wasn't right.
Thanks to a Jack Canfield's book 'The Success Principles' the ball really got going, but it has been a two and a half year journey from the day I met Karen Higginson in LLI. That day changed my life. That was my first day of the process of waking up from the slumber I was in. I wanted more and she was the first person put into my life to set me on the right path. There are others that don't have any idea that they were inspirational, like Quinton Carlin, Shannon Lavinia, Tony Rush and Rachael Oliver... They were the people that pushed me everyday even through the disbelief that sat in my heart. Later there were others one in particular who is still in my life, Lacey Elliot. What a wonderful woman! There are still others, close friends who were wonderful as well, but on the large scale it was the people who were out of touch and larger than life that pushed me and inspired me in ways that those close to me didn't know how.
So after all the big Guru's and their guidance that I couldn't seem to put to work, I finally realized that you can't be successful and happy if you don't like what you are doing. So what did I love to do? Write... that simple, but the other rule was that you HAVE to give back or it won't work! and not just a little, but with your whole heart until it becomes the focus!
I found my calling. I always wanted to help people and I have the biggest love for children, but I always figured that in order for me to help others I had to first be successful. I was wrong! I am successful, everyday I succeed at something. Now what am I going to do to help others!!!
What I learned from all of those amazing people was that first you must hold gratitude for everything in your life and secondly
In order to HAVE the things you want to have and to DO the things you desire to do, you first have to Be the person you want to be!
And so it is that Jacob finally came to life!
Crazy Dreams~ What do they Mean?
Last night I had a crazy dream.
I was standing outside of a hospital but I also knew it to be a shelter of some sort because the news on the t.v. and radio had said that there would be a meteor shower and that we needed to be in buildings that were stronger than our houses.
It was night and I looked up at the sky and watched as the stars started shooting themselves wildly across the heavens, they were what looked like galaxies of swarming stars trying to open up, there were moving in spirals spinning and shifting while making room for other colors and designs. Then there was a second moon. How? It wasn't making sense, I kept wondering if I were in a dream. The people around me were oblivious and yet I couldn't open my mouth to tell them as I was in reverenced awe of what I was seeing. Then I heard a voice behind me, look! Look at that shooting star! It's so big and bright. Then we watched as it caught fire burning through our atmosphere and landing some 5 miles in the distance. It was incredible to experience something so magnificent and powerful right before my eyes. My mind told me to run but I couldn't move because of the curiosity that flooded my veins. It was unbelievably exciting! A few more came crashing through and one headed for us, at this time the early morning was breaking and all the while I was silent. I felt fear that it was the end and an emotion of sheer survival had overcome me, nothing seemed relevant or important anymore. Where was my family, were my friends OK? I was asking but I realized that I could only do what I could do, and family was the priority. I needed to find them, as these thoughts were bursting through my head a meteor was headed directly for the hospital. RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN! I screamed and we ran, there were so many innocent and ignorant people who died in that building in that second, but again it quickly sifted out of my mind, I had to focus and as I was running, I looked up to the sky and saw that these were not asteroids but discs of some sort with strange markings and patterns on them. Now the formation in the sky made sense to me, as being an entrance for these alien beings to enter our solar system. They caused a tear so profound and awesome that it created a second moon to enter our solar system. They were so advanced that the simplicity of there weapons seemed juvenile. They were attacking our earth!
I ran and ran, and by now it was bright outside, the sun was shining and it seemed as another beautiful day in the city, I felt as though I were an important cog in all of this excitement and terror but I couldn't imagine how. I ran across a deserted lane on the freeway and hailed a small red car that had stopped on the side of the road. there was a man it it bawling and blubbering like a baby, I don't know what to do he said, where do I goo they will find us we will all die, I said if you are now going to drive anywhere I want see what I can do, can you give me your car, still crying and desperately hopeless he handed me the keys to his little car and I drove away. I drove to the cities exit, but that is where all the congestion was. Everyone was so desperate to leave that no one could move in the traffic jam, there were thousands of people walking with there children and very few supplies, they wanted out, although no one knew where it was they were going to. there were living zombies and all in flight mode. That made me wonder, where were the ones who were fighting for us, I saw no evidence of any army or government aid whatsoever. I was stuck and couldn't move any further in the car so I jumped out and up on rails of the freeway to move more quickly, running jumping and hoping over things and bypassing angry people waving their fists at each other all panicked and out of their minds.
I came to a small group of woman who were in their 50's and 60's. They were fine, and they looked at me and said finally you have arrived! but now you must go back, go to that building and you will be safe and you will know what to do. So I took the way they had directed and went into a big red brick building that was perfectly rectangular with no added character to its architecture. I found the entrance and found stairs wide and white with black rails winding up and up to the top of the building with many brown doors lining the walls on the way up. I opened one and it led to a large corridor with many more light brown doors. So I walked down this hall still hearing the attacks outside. I opened a door and a person who had at times been a friend to me was standing their and said hi, she was distant in her emotions not wanting to share her space or ideas. I saw a bag of chocolate and asked if I could have some, she said sure but i sensed resentment in her voice for me eating her chocolate like a pig. I stared up at her and said thank you, I haven't eaten in three says, then I cold see her face retract her previous annoyance with guilt and with reprieve she offered other food as well and said she was sharing the place with another friend of mine, I thought this strange since they had never met through anyone but me and yet I had no idea of why they would hide this information. So I said, looking around at this massive 3 floored apt and I said, may I stay here for now until I know what I must do next and there she was back to her face of resentment. I was confused and unsure what the ladies from the street wanted me to do....
Then I awoke.
I was standing outside of a hospital but I also knew it to be a shelter of some sort because the news on the t.v. and radio had said that there would be a meteor shower and that we needed to be in buildings that were stronger than our houses.
It was night and I looked up at the sky and watched as the stars started shooting themselves wildly across the heavens, they were what looked like galaxies of swarming stars trying to open up, there were moving in spirals spinning and shifting while making room for other colors and designs. Then there was a second moon. How? It wasn't making sense, I kept wondering if I were in a dream. The people around me were oblivious and yet I couldn't open my mouth to tell them as I was in reverenced awe of what I was seeing. Then I heard a voice behind me, look! Look at that shooting star! It's so big and bright. Then we watched as it caught fire burning through our atmosphere and landing some 5 miles in the distance. It was incredible to experience something so magnificent and powerful right before my eyes. My mind told me to run but I couldn't move because of the curiosity that flooded my veins. It was unbelievably exciting! A few more came crashing through and one headed for us, at this time the early morning was breaking and all the while I was silent. I felt fear that it was the end and an emotion of sheer survival had overcome me, nothing seemed relevant or important anymore. Where was my family, were my friends OK? I was asking but I realized that I could only do what I could do, and family was the priority. I needed to find them, as these thoughts were bursting through my head a meteor was headed directly for the hospital. RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN! I screamed and we ran, there were so many innocent and ignorant people who died in that building in that second, but again it quickly sifted out of my mind, I had to focus and as I was running, I looked up to the sky and saw that these were not asteroids but discs of some sort with strange markings and patterns on them. Now the formation in the sky made sense to me, as being an entrance for these alien beings to enter our solar system. They caused a tear so profound and awesome that it created a second moon to enter our solar system. They were so advanced that the simplicity of there weapons seemed juvenile. They were attacking our earth!
I ran and ran, and by now it was bright outside, the sun was shining and it seemed as another beautiful day in the city, I felt as though I were an important cog in all of this excitement and terror but I couldn't imagine how. I ran across a deserted lane on the freeway and hailed a small red car that had stopped on the side of the road. there was a man it it bawling and blubbering like a baby, I don't know what to do he said, where do I goo they will find us we will all die, I said if you are now going to drive anywhere I want see what I can do, can you give me your car, still crying and desperately hopeless he handed me the keys to his little car and I drove away. I drove to the cities exit, but that is where all the congestion was. Everyone was so desperate to leave that no one could move in the traffic jam, there were thousands of people walking with there children and very few supplies, they wanted out, although no one knew where it was they were going to. there were living zombies and all in flight mode. That made me wonder, where were the ones who were fighting for us, I saw no evidence of any army or government aid whatsoever. I was stuck and couldn't move any further in the car so I jumped out and up on rails of the freeway to move more quickly, running jumping and hoping over things and bypassing angry people waving their fists at each other all panicked and out of their minds.
I came to a small group of woman who were in their 50's and 60's. They were fine, and they looked at me and said finally you have arrived! but now you must go back, go to that building and you will be safe and you will know what to do. So I took the way they had directed and went into a big red brick building that was perfectly rectangular with no added character to its architecture. I found the entrance and found stairs wide and white with black rails winding up and up to the top of the building with many brown doors lining the walls on the way up. I opened one and it led to a large corridor with many more light brown doors. So I walked down this hall still hearing the attacks outside. I opened a door and a person who had at times been a friend to me was standing their and said hi, she was distant in her emotions not wanting to share her space or ideas. I saw a bag of chocolate and asked if I could have some, she said sure but i sensed resentment in her voice for me eating her chocolate like a pig. I stared up at her and said thank you, I haven't eaten in three says, then I cold see her face retract her previous annoyance with guilt and with reprieve she offered other food as well and said she was sharing the place with another friend of mine, I thought this strange since they had never met through anyone but me and yet I had no idea of why they would hide this information. So I said, looking around at this massive 3 floored apt and I said, may I stay here for now until I know what I must do next and there she was back to her face of resentment. I was confused and unsure what the ladies from the street wanted me to do....
Then I awoke.
Friday, September 10, 2010
SOME SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experience.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
A loss of interest in conflict
A loss of ability to worry
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
Frequent attacks of smiling
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it!
by Peace Pilgrim
And be not conformed to this world: Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2
All of the above were from a book by Dr. Wayne W Dryer.
It was the one book that I know was personally meant for me out of all my father-like friend Bob's book collection. It really is an amazing book. It teaches us to be a peace and nothing else can effect us into a downward spiral, but how to change our thoughts to become do and have all that we desire starting with being at perfect Peace by transforming our minds.
I have been elated all day after a visit in my dream from an old friend. and realizing that many things are not limited if we don't allow them to be. Transform your mind to something lovey and be that person every day.
I am sleepy and I think it might be showing! Night!
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
A loss of interest in conflict
A loss of ability to worry
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
Frequent attacks of smiling
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it!
by Peace Pilgrim
And be not conformed to this world: Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2
All of the above were from a book by Dr. Wayne W Dryer.
It was the one book that I know was personally meant for me out of all my father-like friend Bob's book collection. It really is an amazing book. It teaches us to be a peace and nothing else can effect us into a downward spiral, but how to change our thoughts to become do and have all that we desire starting with being at perfect Peace by transforming our minds.
I have been elated all day after a visit in my dream from an old friend. and realizing that many things are not limited if we don't allow them to be. Transform your mind to something lovey and be that person every day.
I am sleepy and I think it might be showing! Night!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)